Thoughts: Sex and the City 2

Ok, so you hate the new SATC for many reasons; it's unrealistic, it makes women look dependant on men, and the consumerism puts Paris Hilton to shame. But let’s face it, some people live like this. Just not you. And I’m so sorry that you can't relate.

Some women never got into SATC, and that's fine. But the beauty of the show is that it portrays all aspects of the modern American woman. The single mother/lawyer Miranda, the married with children and eternally optimistic Charlotte, the promiscuous yet successful Samantha, and the trendy and often monogamous Carrie, whose job and closet I dream of on a daily basis.

Now I’m not going to get into the actual show, but let’s talk about why you hate it.

You think it’s unrealistic: Maybe for you. Many women (people in general) live like this. These women have put so much emphasis on their careers and are simply reaping the rewards. So they’ve chosen not to settle down, who cares? 40 is the new 30.

You think it makes women look dependant on men: Wrong. Miranda is a single mother. Carrie may have gone back to Big… but have you heard of that crazy phenomenon called love? Sometimes two people are just meant to be. And Samantha left longtime love Smith in LA to get her freedom back. Now Charlotte is the only exception since she loves being married, even if it means twice.

You think the consumerism is over the top: Debatable. Yes they shop. A lot. But let’s face it, you’re subconsciously jealous because you can’t do the same. You would kill to look that good in Louboutins and Halston. I would! I’d also kill to drink at the best bars, dine in the best restaurants, and get whisked away to foreign lands. All in time. If anything, just think they're helping the economy.

Basically the movie is about the style, the romanticism, the idealistic. It’s not meant for you to see these women as your bffs. Get over it. Just sit back and admire the beauty of it all.

*Note: I have not seen the movie yet, this response is based on all the commotion around it. But I am seeing it in 2 days and I'm excited.

Hey babe, what's up? Lol. ;)

Texting: A simple alternative to actual human interaction. And the perfect opportunity to always say the right thing. I mean, you have unlimited time to think of that flawless line, to be smooth, witty, and to provoke the response you want. So why, or lord why, is it so hard for some people? It’s simple, you want to hang out? Then just ask. But please, please (we’re begging you) do not do any of the following:

1. Do not keep texting someone who is not responding. Period. They do not like you. No she didn’t lose her phone. No he didn’t just happen to miss your text. No she’s not that busy. He’s just not that into you. Exhibit A: "Super Loser Seven" (see photo)
   


2. Do not text “what’s up?”... what are you asking here? What am I doing? What are my plans for the evening? Did I accidently dial you? You will most likely provoke a response like “nothing much…” which gets both of you nowhere.
   



3. Do not text in the language (or slang) of where that person is from. No “aloha”, or “hello mate”, or “konnichiwa”. Just don’t. It’s not cute. And we know you had nothing else to say so that’s what you came up with. Exhibit B: I don’t even know who this is. (see photo)



4. Do not use a :) ;) :P or any variation of these, repeatedly. Once or twice ok, if you really mean it, but we’re not 14 yr old girls. I get it, you’re happy.



5. Do not constantly type “lol”. Really? Are you really laughing out loud? I just said I had a long day at work, is that funny to you?



6. Do not call me “babe”, we just met. I am not your babe. Exhibit C: That was the last time I talked to him... (see photo)



7. Do not text someone who didn’t give you their number. Seems simple enough. Getting a girl’s number from a friend of a friend is creepy. And some of us didn’t know our number was posted on Foursquare, ok? That doesn’t mean it’s a free for all!



8. Do not get passive aggressive if you get turned down. It’s not going to help you any. Exhibit D: I tell a boy he’s texting me too much and it’s overwhelming, his response: (see photo)
   



9. Do not type everything in abbreviation. “Hey, how r u? Nice mtg u lst nite. We shuld hang sumtime. Mayb 2morw? lol.” How is that attractive in any way? Survey says: get a life. Or better yet, an education.
   
   


10. Do not SPELL incorrectly! You’re and your. Too and to. It’s not hard! This has to be the number one turn off. Really, I took a poll.

It's Hollywood, after all.

Living in Hollywood has its perks; sunshine, run-ins with beautiful celebrities, great restaurants, and even better bars. But with its perfections come its flaws, and flawed they are… the people that is. More specifically, the men. Whether he’s an actor slash model, “in a band”, promotes parties, or “works in production”, one thing is for sure… he’s a self-absorbed characterless immature pathetic excuse for a man. Harsh? Maybe. Ok, yes. But here are my thoughts:

Why he’s self-absorbed: he’s living in LA to be somebody. Period. It doesn’t matter who he meets, he does not care about you. He doesn’t have any real friends, just some buddies from work. He will not stop talking about himself, where he’s traveled, and which celebs he had bottle service with. He probably doesn’t remember your name.

Why he’s characterless: he is a compilation of acting classes; sometimes he’s deep and methodical, sometimes he’s carefree and energetic. And sometimes he’s just… there. His lack of style doesn’t jive in LA so he’s adopted the hipster look; overpriced, overdone, over accessorized, yet... casual? He even grew facial hair to play the part. So who is he? Check his imdb, they probably know better than he does.

Why he’s immature: he’s not interested in a relationship. He’s not ready, too focused on his career, and is “just having fun”. He sleeps on a futon in his studio with a mini fridge full of beer. He doesn’t call/text and believes you should be the one to pursue him. Because you know, he’s worth it.

Why he’s a pathetic excuse for a man: ever hear of being a gentleman? No. This guy doesn’t treat you to dinner, he buys you a drink. Doesn’t open doors, he walks ahead of you. He’s always on his phone, texting, tweeting, bbming. He doesn’t compliment you, he asks you what you think of his new jacket. Pick you up? Forget it. You’re driving your ass to some dive bar in Santa Monica where he can prove to you he is, in fact, all of the above.

Like, Love, Hate. A short story.

Look at you; that outfit, that face, that voice. Drinks. Dinner. Champaign. Drinks. My place. I like you. From strangers to being inseparable. Be your girlfriend? Who are you? I don’t even know you. A run down of your past, your middle name, the meanings of your tattoos. Meet your mother? She didn’t seem to like me. You think you love me? I guess I love you too. Move in with you? Are you insane? It’ll be temporary. We’re going to get married anyway, why not? I love you. Can’t you pick up your socks? And the toothpaste in the sink…? Thanks for making dinner honey. I think you’ve had enough to drink. What do you mean you’re going out? Let’s talk tomorrow when you’re sober. I say these things because I love you. Who’s texting you at this hour? And why is she saying she misses you? Fine, it’s in the past. Let’s move on, together. Buy a house? But… well, I love you too. I lost my job. Wait, I’m being annoying? You’re never home! Who are you chatting with? It would be easier if I had a job? You said I didn’t have to work. Let’s take a vacation? NY? I had an amazing time. I love you. Who gave you this journal? She says you love her. It’s not mutual? This isn’t working. You’ll never talk to her again? Don’t cry. You’re sorry, I know. We’ll be fine. Work with you? I guess that’ll be fun. I’m a bitch? You’re a lying cheating asshole! You hated our NY trip? Well I hate you.