Monday, May 10, 2010

It's Hollywood, after all.

Living in Hollywood has its perks; sunshine, run-ins with beautiful celebrities, great restaurants, and even better bars. But with its perfections come its flaws, and flawed they are… the people that is. More specifically, the men. Whether he’s an actor slash model, “in a band”, promotes parties, or “works in production”, one thing is for sure… he’s a self-absorbed characterless immature pathetic excuse for a man. Harsh? Maybe. Ok, yes. But here are my thoughts:

Why he’s self-absorbed: he’s living in LA to be somebody. Period. It doesn’t matter who he meets, he does not care about you. He doesn’t have any real friends, just some buddies from work. He will not stop talking about himself, where he’s traveled, and which celebs he had bottle service with. He probably doesn’t remember your name.

Why he’s characterless: he is a compilation of acting classes; sometimes he’s deep and methodical, sometimes he’s carefree and energetic. And sometimes he’s just… there. His lack of style doesn’t jive in LA so he’s adopted the hipster look; overpriced, overdone, over accessorized, yet... casual? He even grew facial hair to play the part. So who is he? Check his imdb, they probably know better than he does.

Why he’s immature: he’s not interested in a relationship. He’s not ready, too focused on his career, and is “just having fun”. He sleeps on a futon in his studio with a mini fridge full of beer. He doesn’t call/text and believes you should be the one to pursue him. Because you know, he’s worth it.

Why he’s a pathetic excuse for a man: ever hear of being a gentleman? No. This guy doesn’t treat you to dinner, he buys you a drink. Doesn’t open doors, he walks ahead of you. He’s always on his phone, texting, tweeting, bbming. He doesn’t compliment you, he asks you what you think of his new jacket. Pick you up? Forget it. You’re driving your ass to some dive bar in Santa Monica where he can prove to you he is, in fact, all of the above.

1 comment:

  1. I think this is a little harsh. I've heard Dylan call you by name at least once.

    ReplyDelete