Dear Latin Lover,

I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you fall for me. Really. I just needed you to fill the void of my other Latin lover, and well, you just couldn’t do it. I mean, the accent wasn’t even close. But thank you, for taking the time to meticulously plan our dates so they were seemingly perfect. And for cooking me that amazing meal. I mean, wow. And for taking me grocery shopping then carrying everything, even the kitty litter. That was nice.

But unfortunately you’re a little odd, and don’t particularly dress well (horribly, actually), and… what else what else... oh yeah, you’re immature. I thought people stopped spelling things wrong on purpose in middle school. No? Either way I applaud your effort but no más.

Adiós, dollface.